Friday, January 17, 2014

"The Struggle is Part of the Story"

I know I have wrote bits and pieces on here about our infertility battle. As I tried to remember things tonight I was grateful that I did have somethings wrote down. This is a lot of jumble but its something that I never want to forget. Here is for Family & Friends who want to know more about Our Battle with Infertility.


A little background about us.....Brady & I met in November 2008 and married in June 2012. We were set up to meet by Brad & Jessica Gledhill. Jess and I had known one another long before she started dating Brad. Brad is Brady's best friend from high school. Jessica had invited me to go to this show with her and Brad. On our way over to Logan, Brad mentioned that he would be introducing to his friend "Parsons" & that he would work his magic from there. After the Logan show we drove back to Tremonton, to an after party. Where Brady and I sat and talked. He used the famous line, (I tease him to this day about it) "Want to swap digits?". We indeed did swap digits I gave him two phone numbers (a texting one & one to call, due to waiting for a new phone in the mail) to which he thought I was giving him a fake. Little did we know then how quickly we would grow our never ending bond. We started officially dating November 27, 2008. We were living in his parents basement at the time. Brady was working at ATK in Promatory and I was commuting to Logan to work at Convergys. Brady was laid off in the first rounds at ATK, once he received a great severance we jumped on the chance to move to Salt Lake City, Utah in April of 2009. When we moved to Salt Lake we had no one to really fall back on but a couple of really close friends. Since then Salt Lake has became home to us with all the trials and learning we had to do relying on just each other. We knew early on in our relationship that we would one day get married but wanted to start our family before then. We made the decision to start trying for our own little family shortly after our move to Salt Lake. Little did we know this would be the beginning of our little story.

We tried for two years before seeking help. Those two years were filled with lots of tears, heartache, and lots of negative pregnancy tests. In March of 2011 we went to my OB/GYN (aka Dr. Oglesby) to ask questions & to get answers. (side note: At the time I had been doing lower back injections cause my back pain was so severe) Dr. Oglesby asked what the injections were for and I explained where my pain was how it was sharp and how it was worse at certain times of the month. That is when we received news that it most likely was indeed not just back pain. Dr. O mentioned how he thought it was pelvic pain radiating to my back. The doctor then asked if I would be willing to go in and do a laproscopic surgery and explore to see what he could find. A week later I was in the operating room and that day in March 2011 was life changing for us. After surgery we found out that I had a very aggressive, attacking case of Endometriosis. One of the worst cases my doctor had ever seen. It was to the point it was attacking my large intestines, my bowls and my lady parts like crazy. Also one of my fallopian tube was twisted around my left ovary.  This is the day our "trying" got ALOT harder.

Since being diagnosed with severe Endometriosis in 2011 we have had a few other bumps along the way. Seventeen months after my first surgery, we were headed back for round two, in August 2012. This surgery included burning lots of endo and many cysts. After this surgery we had high hopes that this would be our year to have a bundle of joy join our family. In October 2012 my OB/GYN decided it would be best if I went on Lupron, (if you're not familiar with Lupron, it's a drug that puts women into early menopause causing you to not have a menstrual cycle & helps stop the growth of Endo in most women) in my mind at first I didn't think it was a bad idea. I had said "what's another 3 months, when we had been trying 3 years?". But the Dr. then told me I would be on this shot for 7 months. I seriously shut down after this. I honestly had feelings I had never felt before, lots of doubt. Feelings that I would never get to experience motherhood, or carry our children & experience that motherly bond, that my husband may never get the chance to be a father, the list that went on in my head, and it was all because of the Endo I felt this way. How I explained it to Brady was that my heart/mind is killing me because I can't do the one thing a woman is supposed to be able to do.

I ended up getting almost every side effect with the Lupron. Being 22 & in, induced menopause, isn't anything close to great. We stopped the drug at month three & tried a round of Clomid. Another negative test was read. We then did a surgery testing the lining of my uterus coming to find out that I had multiple small fibroids & one big one blocking the opening from the uterus to the cervix. We did a bigger proceeder the following week with that being a D&C of my uterus and created a "ski jump", as the doctor liked to call it, from my uterus to my cervix. We did another round of Clomid the next month and yet another negative pregnancy test was read. At this point Brady & I started weighing our options: new doctor, IUI's, IVF's, even adoption.

We did another clean up surgery of the Endo in August 2013 & then went and had a consultation with our REI doctor, Dr. Hattasaka, at the Utah Reproductive Care Center. This is where we finally found hope!! We did the FIVE main tests that they run & everything looks great. Well not great great but good enough that we have a good chance with IUI's/IVF's. The only problem we have now is the financial part. We are hoping to either get sponsered by one of the awesome foundations in Utah or win a free one from the raffle at the races.

"The struggle is part of the story" I came across this quote while I was going back through all of our stuff writing down things for our application. I can't tell you how close this hits to home. I would not trade our story for anything. I love having an amazing, caring, loving husband. Who through this whole thing has been sooo supportive. Not only supportive but when I'm about ready to throw in the towel he always tells me, we will value being parents so much more when it finally happens. I love how strong he has been for me through all of this. I seriously married the best man for me and definitely my better half. :)