"The Struggle is Part of the Story"

I know I have wrote bits and pieces on here about our infertility battle. As I tried to remember things tonight I was grateful that I did have somethings wrote down. This is a lot of jumble but its something that I never want to forget. Here is for Family & Friends who want to know more about Our Battle with Infertility.


A little background about us.....Brady & I met in November 2008 and married in June 2012. We were set up to meet by Brad & Jessica Gledhill. Jess and I had known one another long before she started dating Brad. Brad is Brady's best friend from high school. Jessica had invited me to go to this show with her and Brad. On our way over to Logan, Brad mentioned that he would be introducing to his friend "Parsons" & that he would work his magic from there. After the Logan show we drove back to Tremonton, to an after party. Where Brady and I sat and talked. He used the famous line, (I tease him to this day about it) "Want to swap digits?". We indeed did swap digits I gave him two phone numbers (a texting one & one to call, due to waiting for a new phone in the mail) to which he thought I was giving him a fake. Little did we know then how quickly we would grow our never ending bond. We started officially dating November 27, 2008. We were living in his parents basement at the time. Brady was working at ATK in Promatory and I was commuting to Logan to work at Convergys. Brady was laid off in the first rounds at ATK, once he received a great severance we jumped on the chance to move to Salt Lake City, Utah in April of 2009. When we moved to Salt Lake we had no one to really fall back on but a couple of really close friends. Since then Salt Lake has became home to us with all the trials and learning we had to do relying on just each other. We knew early on in our relationship that we would one day get married but wanted to start our family before then. We made the decision to start trying for our own little family shortly after our move to Salt Lake. Little did we know this would be the beginning of our little story.

We tried for two years before seeking help. Those two years were filled with lots of tears, heartache, and lots of negative pregnancy tests. In March of 2011 we went to my OB/GYN (aka Dr. Oglesby) to ask questions & to get answers. (side note: At the time I had been doing lower back injections cause my back pain was so severe) Dr. Oglesby asked what the injections were for and I explained where my pain was how it was sharp and how it was worse at certain times of the month. That is when we received news that it most likely was indeed not just back pain. Dr. O mentioned how he thought it was pelvic pain radiating to my back. The doctor then asked if I would be willing to go in and do a laproscopic surgery and explore to see what he could find. A week later I was in the operating room and that day in March 2011 was life changing for us. After surgery we found out that I had a very aggressive, attacking case of Endometriosis. One of the worst cases my doctor had ever seen. It was to the point it was attacking my large intestines, my bowls and my lady parts like crazy. Also one of my fallopian tube was twisted around my left ovary.  This is the day our "trying" got ALOT harder.

Since being diagnosed with severe Endometriosis in 2011 we have had a few other bumps along the way. Seventeen months after my first surgery, we were headed back for round two, in August 2012. This surgery included burning lots of endo and many cysts. After this surgery we had high hopes that this would be our year to have a bundle of joy join our family. In October 2012 my OB/GYN decided it would be best if I went on Lupron, (if you're not familiar with Lupron, it's a drug that puts women into early menopause causing you to not have a menstrual cycle & helps stop the growth of Endo in most women) in my mind at first I didn't think it was a bad idea. I had said "what's another 3 months, when we had been trying 3 years?". But the Dr. then told me I would be on this shot for 7 months. I seriously shut down after this. I honestly had feelings I had never felt before, lots of doubt. Feelings that I would never get to experience motherhood, or carry our children & experience that motherly bond, that my husband may never get the chance to be a father, the list that went on in my head, and it was all because of the Endo I felt this way. How I explained it to Brady was that my heart/mind is killing me because I can't do the one thing a woman is supposed to be able to do.

I ended up getting almost every side effect with the Lupron. Being 22 & in, induced menopause, isn't anything close to great. We stopped the drug at month three & tried a round of Clomid. Another negative test was read. We then did a surgery testing the lining of my uterus coming to find out that I had multiple small fibroids & one big one blocking the opening from the uterus to the cervix. We did a bigger proceeder the following week with that being a D&C of my uterus and created a "ski jump", as the doctor liked to call it, from my uterus to my cervix. We did another round of Clomid the next month and yet another negative pregnancy test was read. At this point Brady & I started weighing our options: new doctor, IUI's, IVF's, even adoption.

We did another clean up surgery of the Endo in August 2013 & then went and had a consultation with our REI doctor, Dr. Hattasaka, at the Utah Reproductive Care Center. This is where we finally found hope!! We did the FIVE main tests that they run & everything looks great. Well not great great but good enough that we have a good chance with IUI's/IVF's. The only problem we have now is the financial part. We are hoping to either get sponsered by one of the awesome foundations in Utah or win a free one from the raffle at the races.

"The struggle is part of the story" I came across this quote while I was going back through all of our stuff writing down things for our application. I can't tell you how close this hits to home. I would not trade our story for anything. I love having an amazing, caring, loving husband. Who through this whole thing has been sooo supportive. Not only supportive but when I'm about ready to throw in the towel he always tells me, we will value being parents so much more when it finally happens. I love how strong he has been for me through all of this. I seriously married the best man for me and definitely my better half. :)

Thoughts About Infertility

*Note I wrote most of this post at the first of October*


So much has been going through my mind lately. I have typed and deleted and typed some more but I can never get out how I really feel about infertility. At the moment (the first part of October) I am in a why me/us mode and can't seem to get out of it. Why can't we get pregnant? Why do we have to wait another year to start fertility stuff? Why can't we be parents like we want? Why do people who don't want children get them? And this is only some of the thoughts that have traveled through my mind.

If you know me, you know that I would love to be a mom more than anything. Starting our little Parsons family has been on my mind for years. With us trying 3 out of the 4 years we have been together and nothing happening, being diagnosed with Endometriosis (which comes along with many surgeries and infertility), and coming to find out that we didn't get pregnant yet again this month, it all is so devastating. Devastating, to a point that I am starting to give up a lot of hope and faith.  When I went to the Dr. this week (First part of October) and learned I would be going on the Lupron shot because we indeed did not get pregnant this month is harder than I thought it would be to hear. In my mind at first I didn't think it would be to bad what's another 3 months, we have already waited 3 years. But then the Dr proceeded to tell me I will be on this shot for 7 months (One month trial three months down and than another three months down). My mind seriously shut down, I didn't know what to think, how to feel, etc etc. I finished up the appt and started my drive home and all I could think is I don't think I will ever get to experience the carrying a child, or us being parents. I walked in the house and the moment I saw my oh so loving husband, I broke. I bawled while he held me and kept telling me that there are other options if we are unable to carry, that we will try everything up to IVF treatments and if that doesn't work we will adopt.

Now a few weeks later I have came to the conclusion this might be a good thing for us. As I sat and felt sorry for myself and everyone else who has infertility problems, I made a list of the positive things this brings to Brady and myself. It has helped having a few of my good friends there to listen to me vent and reassure me things will work out (my husband is included in that.) As I try and focus on these positive things, we have been getting out of our "old couple" stage and trying to enjoy the life without kids while we still can.

PLEASE VOTE

My adorable niece is in a photo contest please go vote for Journee Alayne!!
http://www.facebook.com/LoganRegional?sk=app_474803099226735&app_data=%7B%22mid%22%3A12296%7D&fb_source=message

This little girl has brought so much happiness and joy to our family from day one. Adoption is amazing and has truly taught us that miracles really do happen. Hope you win your Ipad J-Bug. Uncle Brady and Aunt Meggie love you!!

Photo by Inbleu Photography

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

If you know me I am not very patient. But for the last three years I have done my best to be patient and to keep telling myself our time will come when we least expect it. Well hopefully that time comes soon to start our little Parsons family. On Tuesday August 21, 2012 I had my second surgery to remove some Endometriosis & cysts in hopes that will will conceive in the next year!! :) I go back to the Dr. today to remove the stitches and to talk about what is next. Most likely we will start a drug called Lupron. If you are wondering what Lupron is, it is a shot that will send me into early menopause for the next three months causing me not to have a menstrual cycle and hopefully stop the growth of the Endo for the next little while. Most women who receive this kinda shot are pain free for up to five years. Five years would be amazing where I only made it 18 months in between my first and second surgery. After that we will probably go on a low-end fertility drug called Clomid. This drug will increase ovulation (egg production) and hopefully help us get pregnant soon. That is the plan for now. We will see what the Dr. has to say this morning!  I will be keeping my fingers crossed about some good news because good things do come to those who wait.

Bridals

We took my Bridals Friday June 8th 2012 (I know a little behind on blogging!!haha) in Stansburry Park and at the Great Salt Lake by the Saltire. It was a very windy afternoon but I absolutely love how all of them turned out. It def is hard to pick a favorite so here are some to enjoy!! :) Thank you Mom, Chelsey, & my little guy Damien for all your help.

*The Beginning of Forever*06-16-12*

Well, it's almost been a month since our big day!!! I figured since I haven't wrote about it, I better before I forget any little detail. This May be all over the place sorry if it is :)

Let's just say June 16th, 2012 turned out perfect! It all started on June 15th when we hooked up the trailer with all the decorations & headed for Malad. We arrived in Malad around 5:30pm & the decorating started. We started to line the chairs up. made sure the gift area was set up (broke a nail in the process) and the sign in table. After all that work was finished we did a little run through of how the next day would go. Had a little grub and then a ran up to Tori Green's so she could fix my nail real quick, she was def a life saver!! :) Brady, Myself, and the rest of wedding party met up at the bar and had a few drinks. We then said our goodnights and went to different places to for the night. I would say rehearsal night was quite a success. 

It all began really early Saturday morning I was up at 6:30ish. I must have been excited because if you know me I love my sleep. Carlee, Chelsey, and I went to breakfast at the new little diner in Malad called The Pines it was super yummy. We than met up with Jess and headed up to Lisa's to finish the decorating. Shay Lee met us up at the house and we got to work. (In the meantime Brady was having a good morning golfing with the guys.) We got the tulle on the chairs, pictures hung on the doors & clothes line, table pieces set up and cake back drop all finished. Ohhhh and I can't forget how gorgeous the yard was. (Shane & Lisa did a great job getting it to look beautiful. Thank you) After all was said and done I was definitely a happy bride. I could never have done all the setting up by myself  and love these girls for all the hard work they did. At 12pm I headed to the Lisa's shop for Shaylise to start making me all pretty. I have to say my hair turned out perfect and my makeup was beautiful. I sure do love her to pieces. We left the shop to head back up to the house, when we turned the corner I saw Brady's green shirt!! I about had a panic attack. The groom can't see the bride before the wedding. We drove around the block and while he left to shower. That last half hour felt like forever but my girls def helped pass the time. We put on my dress, did some pictures, & shed a few tears. Now it was time. The grooms men & bridesmaids walked down the isle to Marry Me by Train. As me and my step-daddy headed down the isle we walked side by side, arm in arm to I Live My Life for You. The look on Brady's face was priceless he grinned ear to ear while a few tears fell down my cheek. The guy who married us did an awesome quote by John Lennon (which I still need to get a copy of) said our I Do's, exchanged our rings & did our first married kiss. He than announced that we were  Mr. & Mrs. Brady Parsons, I got the little girly butterfly's in my tummy. We walked back down the isle together to Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson. I seriously could not grinning, I was one happy girl! At the end of the isle Brady gave a big fist pump and told me he was excited that I was now his wife!  :)
We appreciate all of our family and friends for coming and supporting us on our wedding day.

Here are a few pictures from that day. Will post more when I get the discs!:)
Honeymoon post coming soon. :)

 *My Favorite*

 *Sign in desk*

 *One of the windows I did*

 *My sexy husband*

 *The Grin*

 *Daddy Con giving me away*

 *First kiss as husband & wife*

 *Gift Area* one of my favorite areas we did

 *Cake cutting*

 *Another window I did*

Three Years

We hit our 3 year mark on Sunday November, 27th. Let's just say, I am still madly in love with him as I was 3 years ago!! :) I still remember the night we made it official and it still makes me grin from ear to ear! 3 Years down and many more to come!! :) I love you Brady James Parsons.

Oh and on another note: only 6 Months and 2 Weeks left until I become Mrs. Parsons!! I can not express how excited I am! haha.